Scripture is also clear about the evil of
fornication—premarital sexual intercourse—which most of our culture
accepts as normal and irresistible. We see many couples suffering from
the consequences of their early promiscuity. The "sexual freedom" of our
time isn't free and usually carries some pretty heavy costs.
The Bible also lists other practices that are
"abominations" to God (Le v. 18, Rom. 1:21-32, I Thess. 4:1-8, and I
Cor. 6:12-20). These include homosexuality, bestiality, and incest.
And last, there is a vast array of possible sexual
practices for married couples that are not mentioned at all in Scripture
(we can find no reference to Internet pornography, vibrators, or
videos). So, since we aren't likely to find a definitive answer, the
best we can do is find the principles God has given us and apply them to
the cultural setting we're living in. As we look for those you may not
be surprised to find that we're not much different in the twenty-first
century than how mankind has been since creation. We have the same
anatomical equipment, the same physiologic hormones, the same mental
capacity for lust and fantasy, and the same relational needs that have
always driven men and women to seek sexual pleasure and intimacy. As
Ecclesiastes says, "there is nothing new under the sun," except maybe
the vast array of new toys.
Exclusivity
Many studies have confirmed what biblical commandments
imply. That is that becoming one flesh with one partner provides the
best setting for satisfying sexual intimacy. Sex is neither a spectator
sport for group indulgence nor an event to test a person's ability to
score with multiple partners. Casual sex as a way to prove one's prowess
or simply achieve physiologic relief of sexual tension only confirms
that his or her ability to copulate is intact. Although providing some
pleasure, it fails to meet the deeper need for intimacy that sex was
designed to give.
A couple in a long-term committed relationship enters
into a more secure and trusting territory with each sexual encounter. In
that bed sex can truly become "making love" rather than just having
sex. Multiple partners create mistrust, performance anxiety, and
comparison evaluations that are barriers to the deepest levels of
intimacy. Go to page 3
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