Tuesday 22 January 2013

10 Questions to Ask Your Wife Every Year to avoid divorce


The best remedy for marriage conflict is marriage communication. Disagreements, fights, impasses, separations and divorce can be traced back to poor communication more than any other factor. Likewise, listening amounts to some of the best relationship medicine around.
Listening works best when we ask good questions. Good questions indicate bona fide concern. The man who asks good questions is already well on the way to communication excellence.
The best questions also serve as conversation starters. Remember, you are interested in her. But, once you start talking, she’s going to ask stuff too. The more you know each other on a deep level, the easier it is to fall in love all over again.
Here are 10 good questions you should ask your wife, at least every year:
1. What do you think is going right in our relationship? It’s been a while since you took the marriage vows. But it’s still true that positive affirmation leads to more productive change than negative evaluation. It’s helpful to identify our strengths. Once we know them we can play to them. Building each other up is always win-win.
2. Where would you like our relationship to be this time next year? It doesn’t matter where we are, there’s always room to be better. She might say, “I’d like to see more spontaneous affection.” Or, “I want us to be moving forward together in our faith.” She could say, “I want our relationship to involve more fun!”
3. Will you please marry me, all over again? Say it with flowers. Say it like you mean it. Make sure your wife knows how much you cherish her.
4. I’d love to hear about your dreams for the future. A wise Hebrew writer once wrote, “Without a vision, the people perish.” Listen to your wife, imagine great things together, and then step into the possibilities.
5. Is there anywhere you’d like to visit this coming year? Indulge a little whimsy. Listen, laugh together, fantasize about fabulous vacations, and then tuck the information away somewhere, so you can possibly plan a trip. A good husband listens to his wife’s dreams. A great husband weaves them into their plans for the future.
6. Do you think we’re doing OK financially? This needs to be an ongoing conversation. However, like any small business (and a family is like a business in many ways), the directors need to have a comprehensive annual meeting to evaluate the finances and the plan for the coming year.
7. How are you doing health-wise? Encouraging one another necessarily involves accountability. Partners should never remain ignorant when it comes to health concerns.  And not just physical health.  It’s also important to take inventory of each other’s emotional well-being.
8. If you could change one thing about our priorities as a family, what would it be? Notice this isn’t an invitation to criticize, but more an opportunity to grow together.
 Possible answers might include:
— I’d like to see less TV time and more family time with one another at home.
— We’re not eating together enough. I’d like to see dinnertime valued a little more.
—    We say can’t afford a family vacation, but then we eat out 2-3 times a week. Maybe we should shift that one around!
9. Is there anything I devote regular time to that you see as a possible threat to our family/our relationship? Patterns take time to emerge. When we look back—or from another person’s point of view – sometimes we can see more clearly. Ask your wife if there are any adjustments you can make (Consistently late for dinner? Too much golf? Too many evenings with “the boys”?) that would help her to feel more secure.
10. Are you happy? It’s a good question even if she says she’s happy already. “What can I do to make you more happy?” is a great discussion.  Again, this is where good, active, listening is very important. And your wife’s greatest happiness will always be found in God, so encourage her to grow in her faith. Culled from Charismag

Saturday 19 January 2013

HELL IS REAL:My husband spent 23 minutes in hell fire.


Annette Wiese awoke to her husband's screams, only to find that Bill had spent 23 minutes in a fiery pit that many people, including some Christians, don't believe exists.
 
At exactly 3:23 a.m. on November 22, 1998, Annette Wiese awoke to her husband's screams. Rushing down the hall of their Santa Ana, California, home to the living room, she found him lying on the floor in a fetal position, his hands grasping at the sides of his head, begging her to pray for him. After he drank several glasses of water, Bill Wiese explained in gasps to his wife that God had taken him into hell.
 
Wiese had spent 23 minutes in a fiery pit that many people, including some Christians, don't believe exists.
"It was terrible," he says. "I was thinking: This has to end—I can't endure this, I have to get out.
 
"Only, in hell, you understand you're never going to get out. You're going to spend eternity here."
 
The visit, chronicled in Wiese's book, 23 Minutes in Hell, started an evangelistic journey for the couple that is growing each day. It began with Wiese's speaking about hell first in home Bible studies, then in churches, and now includes radio and TV appearances by the author.

An 'Unlikely' Choice
Sitting in a hotel restaurant a few blocks from Disneyland in Anaheim, California, the polished, poised and dressed-to-preach couple explain their new direction.
"Our heart is that we want to be in ministry full time," Annette Wiese says. "We know we've reached the point where we have to put together a formal ministry and move forward with that."
 
That the Wieses see themselves as chosen by God to deliver a message about hell—a hotly debated topic among Christians—is paradoxical. It's not the kind of calling you might expect for this couple.
 
Both are longtime Christians from highly functional middle-class families. Both have an uncommon normalcy about them. Neither had a prophetic inkling of the event Bill would go through or their subsequent call to evangelism.
Annette grew up in Seattle and Southern California, and Bill, son of an insurance salesman, grew up in Fort Lauderdale, Florida. Each is the second oldest of five siblings and was previously married with no children.
 
They met in the Irvine, California, church they still attend. They've been married more than 10 years. Both work in real estate—Bill as owner of a real estate brokerage firm that resells homes and Annette with a company that builds new homes.
 
Annette is polite, perky and quick to laugh. Bill is soft-spoken, methodical, studious and nicknamed "Mr. Starch" by the youth drawn to his message. Before that frightful night in 1998, he taught a Bible class and led worship at his church but says he "never liked the microphone and being in the front."
 
"I've always been one to gravitate toward the scholastic and conservative end," Bill says. "Then, what happened grouped me into another class and maybe made me into something that was not so conservative, even a little bit wild."
 
He has become something of a spiritual Superman. He's changed from a mild-mannered, retiring, faithful-but-not-on-fire Christian version of Clark Kent into a fearless champion of the truth he believes in. He's willing to take on the villains of skepticism, false doctrine and modern Christianity's distaste for the subject of hell.
 
It's not like him.
 
"That's opposite of my nature," he notes. "It's a bit contrary to who I am to talk about a vision [of hell]. If I were given my choices, I would have chosen heaven and not hell."
 
Why God selected him remains a mystery to him. He offers the thought that God often chooses the most unlikely person for the job—from Moses to Gideon to the apostle Paul.
 
"I asked, and He never gave me an answer," Wiese says of why he received the experience. "I'm no Billy Graham or Mother Teresa. I hate disorder and filth, and hell is filthy, disorderly and chaotic. It's loud from the screams, and I hate noise.
 
"The only possible reason I can think of is that God knew I would draw attention to His Word and point people to what the Word has to say and not just me."
 
Wiese says God made the reality more horrible by not letting him realize he was a Christian while he was in hell, though he's been a believer for many years. Afterward he was reluctant to even mention his experience to friends.
 
He was much more eager to research the Bible and other books on the subject by Christian authors to make sure the hell he experienced wasn't contrary to Scripture or widely accepted doctrine.
 
"To tell someone you've been to hell is pretty amazing," he says. "I thought people were either going to think I'm crazy or had a bad dream. It wasn't that I didn't believe in visions. I just never thought one could happen to me."
 
Hell to Pay
Wiese allowed time for God to open the door for him to write a book about his experience. He used the time to conduct extensive research about his topic. A portion of his book is a study on the theology of hell. And he delves deep into the Scriptures for his latest book, Hellin which he answers the most popular questions that he’s received while speaking around the country. 
 
Hell, he discovered, is under fire.
 
"The doctrine of hell has disappeared this century," he says. "A lot of people seem to think, Well, I confessed the Lord and I can live my life anyway I want and I'm still saved.
 
"The fear of the Lord has left the church, and I think God wants to bring that back. He wants me to draw attention to His Word that says hell is real—not allegorical, but [a] literal burning hell—and people will go there if they don't know Jesus as Lord and Savior."
 
When Christ arrived and removed Wiese from hell, He commanded him to tell the world about the place. God, Wiese believes, wants the message delivered to the unsaved for salvation and to the church to invoke witnessing.
 
The description of Wiese's 23-minute visit to hell is sobering enough to do both. "Here on earth, it's impossible to know the hopelessness of hell," he says. "Here on earth, even if things are terrible, you think you can die and get out.
 
"But there you can't die. You have a body, but somehow it holds up under all the torment, and somehow you keep going. And you know you're never, never going to get out.
 
"That's the part that's most tormenting. Hell is more horrific than anyone could ever imagine."
 
His message stirs an adverse reaction in many people because it stems from his claim that hell is not a biblical metaphor but an actual place. The backlash is strong enough to make the Wieses prefer not to give the name of the church they attend or even talk in detail about what they say are some of the "over the top" e-mails they receive.
 
Bill was surprised when, during radio shows, some Christians called and said that although they are born again they don't believe there is a hell.
 
Other Christian callers quoted Matthew 25:41, saying hell is reserved for the devil and his demons and not for people. Many, he says, consider his message "highly offensive."
 
"Hell is reserved for the devil and his demons, but people go there if they don't accept Christ," he explains. "There are false doctrines out there."
 
'Believe the Word'
 
When Jesus arrived in hell and ascended with Wiese in tow from the center of the Earth into space, He gave him a vision—one in which people were dropping one by one into the pit he had just escaped. Wiese says he was allowed to feel Jesus' pain.
 
"I couldn't believe how sad it was for Him," he says. "I finally had to ask Him to stop allowing me to feel it. It was overwhelming.
 
"He loves us so much that when one person falls into hell, it saddens Him beyond belief," he explains. "It was terrible to feel what He felt but also wonderful to know that He loves us that much."
 
To those who say a loving God wouldn't send anyone to hell, Wiese says that God sent His only Son, His Word and even a person such as him to keep people out.
 
He points out that the hellfire and brimstone message delivered by New England preacher Jonathan Edwards in his famous sermon "Sinners in the Hands of an Angry God" marked America's First Great Awakening in the 18th century. Such preaching continued with Charles Finney and others in the Second Great Awakening a century later, he notes.
 
Wiese believes his message for the postmodern world is to be the same. He speaks it with passion, emphasizing each point with a biblical quote, complete with chapter and verse.
 
More than anything, he is motivated by his experience to continue telling people about the reality of hell.
 
"It's not important they believe me," he says of those who hear him preach. "It's important they believe what the Word says.
 
"Just like [the apostle] Paul saw heaven, I saw hell," he adds. "Hell is real, and I don't want anyone to go there. I've got to do whatever my part is to help."
 
Ed Donnally, a former Dallas Morning News writer, is a Foursquare minister and chaplain. He serves as an associate pastor and works as the development director for an international chaplaincy ministry. He lives in Los Angeles with his wife, Sandi. 

Saturday 5 January 2013

Learn How to Minister to a Muslim


We Christians should have no enemies because our DNA is one of faith and love, not fear and hatred. We must not forget we have received commandments to bless those who curse us, to overcome evil with good and to preach the gospel to the lost.
It is these things, not a spirit of fear, that should be in the forefront of our hearts and minds when we look at the Muslims living in our midst. If we are willing to lay down our lives to reach a certain group of people with the love of Jesus, it becomes impossible for us to hate them!
I have three keys to reaching Muslims with the gospel:
1. The Love of God. Muslims are generally warm and friendly people who respond well to love and kindness. Their culture is one of hospitality, generosity and fellowship. In the Middle East, everything is based on relationship and covenants. Instead of looking at Muslims with fear and suspicion, befriend them, invite them to your home for a meal (no pork!), and show them warmth and kindness. You’ll be amazed to see how they respond.
2. Personal Testimonies. Muslims also respond well to people’s personal testimonies of what Jesus has done in their lives; testimonies of lives transformed, of healings, of direct answers to prayer and of God’s provision. They find this most fascinating and gripping because such things are totally foreign to Muslims. Their god is silent and hasn’t spoken for 1,400 years!
3. Signs, Wonders and Miracles. Muslims greatly respect and respond to the supernatural work of God—signs, wonders and miracles. This is a major key. Muslims actually acknowledge there is healing in Jesus but not in Muhammad. I have never met a Muslim who has ever turned down an invitation to receive prayer in the name of Jesus when it comes to disease or demonic oppression.
Many Muslims today have seen their faith in Islam shaken, and they need Jesus Christ. As it was in my case, they can see Him only when we let His life, light and love shine through us. Jesus Christ changed my life, bringing me out of the darkness of Islam into His light. 
I look at the vast numbers of Muslims still in slavery to Islam. Jesus died for them so they may be saved. What a great and wonderful harvest of souls we have before us, ready to be reaped for the kingdom of God!
Written by Christopher Alam

Christopher Alam is the founder of Dynamis World Ministries, which he started as a missions organization in order to preach behind the Iron Curtain before the fall of communism in Eastern Europe. The ministry has spread to Asia, Africa and Latin America, and Alam has preached the gospel in 70 countries. His autobiography, Out of Islam, tells his journey of faith.
Culled from Charismag

 
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